Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
