3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
