I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
