I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
