that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
