There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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