i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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