Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
