she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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