I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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