I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
