is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
