Porn is love you can see.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
