i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
