Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
