im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
