Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
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