she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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