i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
