So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
