let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
