i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
