I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
