Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
