And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
