nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
