"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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