So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
