This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
