I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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