You're my little dorito
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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