So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
