Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
