My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
