dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
