you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
