He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
