i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
i think im in europe. pls send help
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
