The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
