does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Is her dick bigger than yours?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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