yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
