Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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