You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
