bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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