You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
