Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
