I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
