Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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