I cockslap morals
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I think your dad took our porno
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
