What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
