So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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