Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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