I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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